It may take time, but you can recover from SUD and the relationship issues that stem from it. If you’re recovering from substance use disorder or you love someone who is, you know just how challenging it can be to heal the harm that may have occurred. This can be especially true when it comes to repairing relationships. Valentine’s Day brings with it thoughts of love, but for those involved in romantic relationships in early recovery, such love can be a sobriety hazard. Don’t let things pile up in your relationship until you’re ready to explode. Don’t mention that your loved one has a particular point of view because they are an addict or in recovery.

However, you should first determine which relationships are healthy and worthy of constructing , and which relationships will only threaten your recovery. Below are some tips on how to identify positive and negative relationships in recovery, and how to navigate them as they arise.

Relationship Challenges Unique to People in Recovery

Being open could even help create strong friendships that last a lifetime. No matter how amazing a new person in your life is or how good you feel when you spend time with someone, it is important to make sure that your number one priority is your recovery. Continue to attend 12-Step meetings, show up to therapy sessions, and put your daily health first (e.g., eating healthfully, getting good sleep, working out regularly, etc.). If you go to an addiction treatment program, a lot of what you’ll work on is having a healthy relationship with yourself. You need this before you can foster a good relationship with another person. If you are like many people with an substance use disorder, you probably progressed to the point that your primary relationship was with your drug of choice. As your addiction deepened, your behavioral repertoire began to narrow so that you spent more of your time and effort with drug- or alcohol-related activities.

An “important goal of healthy interpersonal boundaries is allowing you to connect with others to build meaningful healthy relationships.,” explains Dr. Green. Unfortunately, building healthy relationships in recovery from addiction can be quite difficult. If an individual already has pre-existing conditions like depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety, unhealthy relationships can worsen the symptoms. Once the symptoms become worse, individuals may self-medicate and turn to substance abuse for support.

Thinking About Rehab?

Not everyone in the family will agree with trying to help the addicted family member. Some may think that taking a tough stance is the way to handle the situation. When family members disagree about the best way to deal with someone who has an addiction issue, conflict ensues, and the person with the addiction is left to continue drinking or using drugs. The addict realizes that as long as the family is in turmoil, they’ll be able to feed their addiction relatively undisturbed. They will not allow anything to get in the way of feeding the addiction.

Healthy relationships allow for people to establish boundaries, so everyone feels safe. Trust establishes respectful vulnerability allowing for the relationship to progress in a healthy manner. If someone recovering from addiction does not trust their partner, they may hide progress of sobriety from their partner, or feel they cannot be vulnerable about their sobriety. Located in Newport Beach, California, Sierra by the Sea provides premier residential treatment, offering rehab program and services for drug addiction, alcohol abuse, and mental health concerns. Part of early recovery is learning how to have fun and meet new people while sober.

Repairing Relationships After Substance Use Disorder

It places a tremendous amount of strain on the person struggling with drugs and alcohol. Additionally, there are psychological, emotional, and even physical ramifications for family members and friends witnessing the effects of drugs or alcohol. In time, substance abuse becomes a central focus of most daily relationships, relationships in recovery further perpetuating negative emotions like fear and resentment. Dating in early recovery also significantly increases the risk of entering a toxic relationship. While in recovery, you are in a state of heightened emotional vulnerability, making you more likely to attract abusive partnerships.